If you are looking for a beach chair…

…don’t go to WalMart.  Brent and I are going to the beach in July with my family and I wanted to get a beach chair so I can start working on my tan.  I figured WalMart would have one, right? They have everything.  Wrong.  We searched all over WalMart and couldn’t find one.  Brent was getting annoyed and told me to just ask someone.  We happened to be in the camping department, so I asked the closest employee.  This is how the conversation went:

Me: Can you tell me where the beach chairs are?
The Guy: At the beach.
[Long awkward pause.  I thought he was joking and kinda laughed. He was very serious.]
The Guy: Do you know where you are?  We are not at the beach.  We are in the camping section. We don’t have beach chairs. Are you looking for a lawn chair?
Me:  No, I’m looking for a beach chair.
The Guy:  What’s the difference?
Me: I want to be able to lie flat on a chair.
The Guy: You may want to check in the Lawn and Garden center.
Me: Ok, thanks!
Do you really think I don’t know where I am?  I realize that I am in North Alabama, but it’s not far from the beach and there are many people that vacation at the beach during the summer. WalMart has beach towels, sand toys, floats, sunscreen…all essentials for a beach trip, so I think it’s pretty reasonable to look for a beach chair. I guess I will just get one at Al’s 5 and Dime when I get down there.  In the meantime, I will lay on the concrete patio on top of a towel.  Hmm, sounds very comfortable and relaxing. 

3 thoughts on “If you are looking for a beach chair…

  • Oh my gosh! I went through this same thing before we left for the lake. I tried Wal-Mart and Target and had similar experiences to yours and Brents! I thought, well, it’s summer time. I realize we are not at the beach, but surely people have pools and stuff! I mean, I really thought I remembered Wal-Mart selling those things when I was a kid! What a let down! – Rebecca

  • Another Walmart WOW!….Well, I went to WM looking for an American flag (the kind you put on the front of the house) for Phyl to give her dad for Fadda’s Day. The 1st person I asked about flags was the 4’9, 280 lb lady at the “Fine” jewelry counter. Not surprising she would be clueless – all she did was point toward the back corner of the store as she answered the phone. At the back corner was Automotive – no flag here and also no customers & no employees to ask. I saw a guy in sporting goods and asked him – he shrugged and suggested I might try in Hardware – only a few steps away. In Hardware there were two women employees stocking tools. Together, they had maybe 6 teeth between them and were bumping their gums about somebody’s boyfriend who was in jail. I stood 3′ away from them for about a minute before one of them turned and asked what I needed. When I asked about a flag they both said they had them – in Housewares, on the back wall next to the mail boxes. Well the flags weren’t on the back wall, and neither were the mail boxes – but there was a lady working in this department…on the phone. I waited about 5 minutes for her to get off the phone – I’m guessing she was having a corporate chat with the little chunk I spoke to in Jewelry. When she finally finished her phone conversation, I asked where the flags were. As she was dialing another number on the phone she said if they had any they would be 2 isles over. After a thorough search 2 isles over, the closest thing Walmart had to a flag was an assortment of “For Sale” signs. 10 minutes after I entered, I exited without a flag having determined that Walmart’s hiring criteria is simply anyone with an IQ below 50. Hint – need a flag to hang on the house? Go to Lowe’s ~dad~

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