Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 first.
Around the same time that Brent decided he wanted me to stay at home, he also got an inkling to be a realtor. He knew that his current job provided less than what we needed to live and real estate is something that both of us have always been interested in. He met with a local broker to discuss the ins and outs of the career. He came home motivated and ready to pursue this career. But how?
- It costs money to get started and there are monthly fees, whether or not he is selling homes.
- He would have to get a new vehicle…have you seen our immortal Camry?
- With his current work schedule and traveling, it would be nearly impossible to get started in this career, even part time.
So our options were:
1. Look for a completely different full-time job that offered more flexibility in his schedule so he could also pursue realty.
2. Quit his current job, get a part-time job, and pursue realty.
3. Quit his current job and jump headfirst into the realty thing and see our expenses as an investment in a new business.
And so we began to fervently pray for direction. What option was best for our family and our finances? I talked to my mother and one of my co-workers about it a lot. The Bible tells us to seek wise counsel and they have such wisdom and insight from being in my shoes years before me. They have never been one to tell me what I want to hear, only what I need to hear and I respect them for that. They gave me Biblical advice and never led me in the wrong direction. Both of them responded to all of this in a way that let me know that Brent and I were not being hasty, but waiting patiently for the Lord to answer prayers. I am thankful to God for both of them.
We were not comfortable making any major decisions unless it was clear the Lord wanted it. We didn’t want to test the Lord and we certainly wanted to be good stewards of His money.
When you are in a state of utter dependence on the Lord, I think that is where you have the most potential to grow in your relationship with the Father. But we didn’t want to put ourselves in that situation foolishly. We wanted God to put us there in His infinite wisdom.
Meanwhile, we felt that it was best to let my principal know sooner rather than later that I did not plan on coming back next school year. I knew the longer I waited to tell her, the more time the enemy would have to convince me otherwise. I decided that Friday, January 21 was the day. The few days leading up to that point had me in some major doubt. I thought of a thousand reasons why I should not be doing this. I’ll be bored during the day, we won’t have any extra money, Lily won’t grow socially, I won’t be surrounded by adults everyday, what if this, what if that, etc. If you let him, Satan will divert your attention as far away as possible from what the Lord wants. And that is what he was trying to do. None of my reasons had Lily’s best interest at heart. Then I remembered every current or previous SAHM mom that I talked to said the same thing, “It will be hard, but you will never regret your decision.” Every single one of them said that.
So in the morning of January 21, my students were in music (I think) and I prepared to go let my principal know. Here’s the twist…
Just before I walked out of my classroom, I noticed I had a text from Brent. It said, “It happened. So long Cornerstone.” He had a feeling all week that he was going to lose his job because his boss had been acting very strange toward him–questioning his every decision and getting him to quickly tie up any loose ends of the projects he was working on.
Brent lost his job. God made it VERY easy for Brent to make career decisions. This was an answer to prayer regarding those options I mentioned above.
There I was, heart about to jump out of my chest, preparing to tell my principal that I’m quitting my job, and doubting my decision now more than ever.
So what do I do? I change my mind and decide to think about it over lunch. Again, allowing the enemy time to creep into my thoughts and change my mind. I decided to tell Regina (my co-worker that I had been talking to during the whole process) just to see her response. I knew I could trust her judgment. She teared up about it and our conversation was interrupted and that was that. I couldn’t really gauge what she was thinking. I sat through lunch pretending that everything was hunky dory, but really trying to ignore the doubts that filled my mind.
I had to surrender. What if the fullness of God’s plan being revealed to us depends on me completely surrendering and letting go? If I hold on to my job, just in case we still need income come August, then I’m not releasing control to the Almighty. The only way to put ourselves in a position to trust God was to quit my job. I had to give it up. And that I did.
With tears in my eyes and a strange mix of fear and joy, I told my principal and the administrative assistant while my kids were at PE. And after I did that, I felt like I was sold and surrendered. Both of them responded with such encouraging words and confirmed that I was doing the right thing.
It feels good to surrender and know that though the details of our lives are completely unknown right now, God holds us in His hands and is guiding us in the path of righteousness.
We would rather have no income yet be drawn closer to the Lord than to have a hefty income but be without an intimate relationship with the Lord.
We aren’t worried. We know without a doubt we are smack dab in the middle of where God want us so that He can receive the glory.
Brent had an interview this week. It went well, but it’s not something he wants to do. He has two more interviews next week. And the Lord will continue to provide for our every need.
3 thoughts on “Surrender: Doubts and the TWIST!”
I'm praying for ya'll! Incredible blog series- I have been directing all of my friends, preggo or not, to it. So good.
Just proud to call you my friend!
I asked Wesley if he had read your blog lately, and he informed me he does not read blogs, haha. He's reading your surrender series though.
We love y'all and are praying for y'all!
(And I'm getting in touch with you soon….we need to set up a Cohort C reunion!)
Brent, Brittany & Lily,
I've been following your blog. We are so excited for the three of you on your new adventure. We will definitly be praying for you all & the transition.
The Scholls (David, Tracey & Izzie) (from PBC)
ps i think your mom is ver wise too! (T)